


shrektacular: shrekawa was jst a boy……. but this is serious so he’s an ogre. ok

by oikawamemesquad



Category: Haikyuu!!, Shrek Series
Genre: M/M, Shrek AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:35:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3437138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawamemesquad/pseuds/oikawamemesquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was Shrekawa. He was love. He was life. But could he be... Donkiwa's allstar?</p>
            </blockquote>





	shrektacular: shrekawa was jst a boy……. but this is serious so he’s an ogre. ok

**Author's Note:**

> regret  
> rɪˈɡrɛt/  
> verb  
> 1.  
> feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do).

Shrekawa is a handsome ogre, in most respects. Donkiwa was Shrekawa’s handsome donkey friend, who’s ripped as fuck and can’t wear shirts because his massive guns tore the sleeves, but donkeys don’t wear shirts anyway, so it’s ok (donkeys don’t wear pants either, but that’s a different matter). Shrekawa and Donkiwa hang out sometimes, even though Shrekawa can be a real little shit and likes to go and try to woo all the lady ogres (what a loser god) and Donkiwa has to punt him into the swamp because hey, why not.

So Shrekawa and Donkiwa are chilling in the forest and Donkiwa can’t see shit because he’s colour-blind (apparently) and so even though tsundere Donkiwa wants to pick Shrekawa flowers sometimes he can’t because all the flowers are the wrong colours and he knows that Shrekawa’s favourite colour is a specific shade of teal but. but. there is none. but Donkiwa doesn’t cry because he’s a big buff donkey. And buff donkeys don’t cry, only the itty bitty baby ones do.

“Donkiwa my head still hurts,” Shrekawa whines, rubbing his big (yaoi) ogre hand over the back of his perfectly-coiffured head. “From where you hit it.”

“If you weren’t such a fucking A+ loser i wouldn’t have to hit you,” Donkiwa replies, withholding his true feelings because he’s stubborn as a mul- donkey.

Shrekawa gasps. “An A+ loser? I get an A+?” And Donkiwa launches Shrekawa into space because he’s 500% done and after Shrekawa drifts in space for a bit he plummets back to earth but he’s ok because he lands in a swamp and ogres are DURABLE creatures and so Donkiwa doesn’t feel sad.

Shrekawa climbs out of the swamp and for some reason he isn’t crying, but he’s bleeding a little bit from where he hit his head on a stick but that’s ok because it’s stopping so it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Donkiwa gasps inwardly as he realises that Shrekawa is beautiful as he climbs from the swamp, moist and glistening with his mud-covered abs. His clothes have become see-through from the swamp water, and Donkiwa can't tear his eyes away. They cling to smooth, viridescent skin and highlight each of his bulges.  
His breath comes short in his throat and his heart begins to hammer in his donkey chest. He can see each contour of Shrekawa’s godly body as he flicks his (now not so perfectly-coiffured) hair from his face and sashays over towards where Donkiwa is sitting with his back to the trunk of a tree. His hooves are trembling.

“That was mean of you, Donkiwa-chan~,” Shrekawa begins to peel his wet shirt off that magnificent, chiselled ogre body, like peeling the layers of an onion, and he smelled faintly of onions and deodorant. Rivulets of water dribble down over his chest and past his magnificent ogre nipples, down into the waistband of his trousers and Donkiwa’s eyes follow it all the way down, right to the trail of coarse hair winding its way down from Shrekawa’s navel.

Shrekawa’s nipples are hard as he flings his wet shirt to the ground and sits down next to Donkiwa, somehow oblivious to the effect he’s having on the donkey. Donkiwa can’t take his eyes from Shrekawa’s green skin, as green as a frog’s skin but greener, like the leaves of a tree but softer and wetter. Donkiwa knows his own donkey nipples could never be as fantastic as Shrekawa’s ogre nipples, which glisten like emeralds, but for some reason it doesn’t bother him at all. All he can focus on is the long, lean, green volleyball machine next to him. His big yaoi-ogre hands are calloused from having to set and serve those huge onions, and Donkiwa can’t help but imagine how good those hands would feel on his furry donkey body, or even better, on his donkey dingle -  
No! he thinks to himself, turning away from Shrekawa. I can’t think of him that way. I can’t… he’s an ogre!

But… does it really matter? Can’t love bring together even those from the most abject of circumstances? Can’t love unite two beings in such a special, spiritual connection that they are able to put aside all differences, all the things that would keep them apart? Donkiwa looks into those beautiful ogre eyes, brown like the very bottom of the swamp. He swears he hears music swell; music that sounds suspiciously close to Smash Mouth’s “All Star.” It's appropriate-- Shrekawa is an onion-volleyball all-star, but he's Donkiwa's all-star too, not that the chiseled donkey boy would ever admit it. The thought makes Donkiwa want to submerge himself in that mud that is Shrekawa's eyes and never have to leave.

Shrekawa glances at him suspiciously, and Donkiwa flushes beneath his furry cheeks. Shrekawa has caught him staring.

“What’s wrong, Donkiwa-chan?” Shrekawa asks, and Donkiwa blushes even harder. 

“Are you blushing?”

“I’m not,” Donkiwa replies gruffly, crossing his hooves. Shrekawa smiles at him - oh, what a glorious smile it is - and leans across a little. Donkiwa’s heart leaps in his chest. With smiles like this he feels like Shrekawa shows him his very deepest layer.

“You are~,” Shrekawa teases.

“I’m leaving,” Donkiwa says shortly and hops to his feet (hooves, actually), stretching all four of his legs before strutting decisively back the way they had come - or making to, at least. He can't get far, not when Shrekawa’s big ogre hand arrests his movement. He turns around to see Shrekawa leaning forward a little, mouth smiling slightly and eyes hooded.

“Donkiwa-chan,” Shekawa hums softly, his fingers creeping up Donkiwa’s arm. “Do you want to come back to my swamp~?”

Donkiwa gulps, avoiding the ogre’s searing gaze. “You always tell everyone to get out of your swamp…”

The corners of Shrekawa’s lips curl into a smirk. “But Donkiwa-chan…” he whispers, leaning close to his furry ears. “You can always get into my swamp…”

Donkiwa gasps low in his throat, feeling arousal stir deep within his donkey belly. He imagines Shrekawa, all that perfect green skin and those smouldering eyes, stretched out over the pelts of his bed wearing nothing but……….. his old boxers……. Donkiwa bites his lip and looks down at where their fingers would be intertwined if Donkiwa had fingers but he’s a donkey so he has a hoof which makes things difficult sometimes. 

“Shrekawa… what are you trying to say?”

Shrekawa grins, putting his face very close to Donkiwa’s - so close that Donkiwa can feel his stagnant onion-y breath graze against his ear. “You haven’t realised, Donkiwa-chan?” The look in Shrekawa’s eyes is absolutely criminal. “I want your hot nether rod.” His voice lowers by octaves. “In all of my layers.”

Donkiwa’s whole body goes taught with a ravenous desire. “I want…”

“What do you want, Donkiwa-chan?” Shrekawa breathes seductively.  
“I want…….. to yiff.”

“With me?” Shrekawa gasps, his face darkening with arousal.

“Yeah…” Donkiwa moves his hoof to caress Shrekawa’s face tenderly. “I want to… pierce all your layers…. with my schlong. My big donkey tan banana.”

“Donkiwa... I want you to destroy my hot, wet swamp.”

Donkiwa shivered again, wanting to run his hooves over every inch of Shrekawa’s leathery wet skin. “Fine. I’ll come back with you.”

They go back through the forest and the clouds of mosquitoes are nothing compared to their combined desire. As soon as Shrekawa kicks down the door to his swamp (walls plastered with posters of his favourite ogre volleyball stars) his pants are off and WOW, what a big Wand of Coming. But it is nothing, nothing compared to Donkiwa’s monster yogurt slinger. His blue vein sausage is so big that Shrekawa screams because he thought it was a snake and he got scared for a bit. But it was ok because it was just Donkiwa’s jackhammer.

Dang, that lap rocket. Shrekawa feels like he’s going to pass out from all the blood rushing to his ogre DNA rifle. Terrible. He feels hot all over his ogre body. He lies down on the bed sexily, giving Donkiwa his best bedroom eyes.  
“Come to me, Donkiwa-chan.”

Shrekawa will never forget the feeling of strong hooves against his green skin, the sound of Donkiwa’s donkey honk in his ears, or the full feeling of his ding dang diggity donkey dong.  
********  
After their steamy swamp lovin’, Shrekawa lies in Donkiwa’s arms with his head resting against that ripped donkey bicep, sighing contentedly. His ogre finger traces circles against Donkiwa’s furry chest, over his furry heart. “I never knew you loved me, Donkiwa-chan.”

Donkiwa shifted a little, secretly liking the faint rotting smell of Shrekawa’s hair (because he is an ogre).

“Of course I love you,” Donkiwa says. “That’s because…” He stares directly into the camera. “You’re my all star. And you know what they say…” he kisses Shrekawa’s forehead. “Shrekawa is love….. Shrekawa is life.”  
Tears sprung to Shrekawa’s eyes and he gasps, “Oh, Donkiwa-chan! We’ll be together forever, right?”  
“Of course.” Donkiwa’s voice is a whisper in the half-light of the fireflies outside the window. “Our relationship will only grow… like an onion.”

 

the end

**Author's Note:**

> (i….,, apologise im so sorry)


End file.
